Keep Dreaming

Whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving Christ. -Colossians 3:23-24

It's funny that I find myself here. In this season that was expected, but not in this way. I have a lot of realizations and changes in my thinking since I was in college. For whatever reason, I thought that this season of life, the season of being a college graduate and having a full time job was a pretty permanent thing. It would be solid and defined, and the only changes would be my family growing. Boy was I wrong! It is crazy changing all the time. Life is just as temporary as it was when I was in high school and college. I realize that things don't always turn out the way that you think, like I thought I would be married at this point, for some reason...

I really haven't dreamed passed this point. This point of going to school to work with youth and families, and getting a job where I connect and make a difference. Last summer, when I ventured with YouthWorks to Daytona, I noticed this. I didn't exactly have a vision about what was next or a dream for the future. I've been reading Passion & Purity by Elisabeth Elliot and she had a vision and a dream to do mission work, language and translation to be specific. She went to school for it and all the while praying for direction on where to go and apply her knowledge and share the Gospel. She ended up in Ecuador. There are other stories that I am in awe of. I am amazed by this. The vision that I have had hasn't been that clear or specific. I just know that I'm called to serve. I don't know how and I don't know where, and I don't know in what capacity. This has been a struggle for me. Since I have moved to a new place and plugged in to the community, I know there are ways to serve where I'm at. Here I am Lord, use me.

As some of my friends have ventured to Africa, France, and Jackson, MS to work with ministry organizations, I wonder what my dream is. What is my vision? And what is God's dream/plan for me? I come to find that having a full time job isn't the end...that it's as permanent as I make it. I love my job. There are times though, that I consider full time ministry. Youth ministry.....homeless outreach ministry.....ministry in another country. I pray for discernment in this. It's been interesting to process through the thought that I don't have to do the job that I'm in forever. Things can change for other reasons than getting married or having a child in this season. I can make the change. I can continue to dream. It may be staying in my job and having a vision and dream for the children we serve through our agency, or pursuing more schooling, or trying out a different area of work, including ministry. Dreaming doesn't end after you graduate from high school, college, or even when you get married. I'm glad that this block has been removed from my thinking. My youth pastor from my home church in Merrill tells me that I am being prepared for something great. I'm hoping so. I know that there is much to be had in the "time in between." I am open to possibilities, but I know it may be awhile until I get more direction. I am okay with that. I like where I'm at and my heart continues to say "Send me, I'll go."