Magic Moments

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. -Winston Churchill I want to tell you more about my job. At Big Brothers Big Sisters our vision and mission is to "help children reach their full potential by providing children facing adversity with strong and enduring, professionally supported one-to-one relationships that change their lives for the better, forever." We do this through School-Based programs, Site-Based programs, and a Community-Based program. I was a school-based Big Sister in high school and a community-based Big sister while I was in college. Both were amazing, eye-opening experiences. I got a glimpse into a child's life and was able to just walk along side them. Talking with my Little Sister about school, her friends, not liking boys, siblings, and what they want to do when they grow up. We would color and scrapbook, go for walks, play games, work on homework, eat ice cream, and laugh. Very simple things provided wonderful memories and a sense of confidence. What lead me to volunteer and to eventually work for Big Brothers Big Sisters was my own experience as a child. As I look back on my life, my parents have always been supportive and encouraging, but life at home has always been kind of a mess. My parents fought a lot during my childhood, and during my adolescence, we moved to a different state, they divorced, my dad did a tour in Iraq, my oldest brother started a tour in a Iraq soon after my dad came back, and in my college years, my family was dealing with the grief (and still is) of loosing Ryan from a roadside bomb in Iraq (2006, the summer before I left for college). Amongst all of that, I also struggled with friendships, love relationships, my spiritual journey, and my future. A lot of times with my home life being such a mess, and even though I knew my mom and dad were supportive of me and loved me, I simply struggled. A lot of negative messages were getting thrown at me and deciphering them wasn't easy and going against them was even harder. But, I had a couple elementary school teachers, a handful of middle school teachers (especially Big Y), some high school teachers, and Peggy and Sue (as well as several other women) in the church that I joined my Junior year of high school, that invested in me (and continue to do so), walked through life's ups and downs with me, gave me a listening ear, and shared their life experiences with me. They were intentional about loving me. I didn't exactly see it then, especially in elementary school, but I am extremely thankful for it now. It was like they gave me the extra that I needed to be confident and get through, and achieve my dreams. They helped me to process things in my life and think about the decisions I was making. They gave me what I needed to see that I had worth. And they did it by giving me their time. I work with 2 elementary schools and a middle school, as well as a site-based program at a trailor park community in the St. Cloud area. I also have a community-based case load. Each child has a different story, but want the same thing. As I get to know their stories and catch a glimpse of their life at home, I see so much in them that is searching and waiting. They are searching for someone to help them, even if they aren't asking for it and they are waiting for someone to spend time with them. Some of them have supportive parents like I do, but just need that little extra encouragement and guidance from someone outside of their family as they go through the crazy things that life throws at them. Someone that reminds them to have fun and be a kid. Some of the children don't have a mom or a dad, or they do and they don't know who they are, or they haven't seen them for a long time, or they don't have a sibling or have lots of siblings. And they need and want the someone to show them their worth by spending time with them. Time they may not get at home. My heart breaks for each child for one reason or another. I am constantly brought to my knees in prayer for the kids in my site-based program and the other kids on my case load. As much as it may stress me out when things don't go right or I have over 20 match support contacts overdue (I have to have contact with the child and the volunteer each month), I still love it and I love them. My heart leaps, though, when I see them interact with their Bigs or hear about what they have been doing with their Bigs and how they feel about their Bigs. It amazes me to see the change it makes. Of course, there are some children that don't show it, but you know that deep down, the consistency of someone showing up, playing checkers with them, and asking them how their weekend was, is proving something. There are matches in our program that have been together for 7+ years and many have continued their friendships after the child has graduated from high school and the program. It truly is magic. This is why I love my job. I am a firm believer in a smile changing someone's day, an encouraging conversation changing someone's week, and spending time with someone changing a life. Big Brothers Big Sisters is one of the many routes one can take to invest in the children of our communities. It is an amazing organization to be a part of. Last night we hosted our annual fundraiser, the Magic Moments Ball. It went extremely well and was SOLD OUT. I can't tell you how cool it is to see so many people in the community support our mission. I think it might be because they also had someone walk along side them as they went about life, or maybe they didn't and didn't know how to seek that out and see the difference it can make. Maybe it's because they know the importance of a child recognizing their potential and allowing themselves to dream. Maybe, just maybe. :)

8 Months later....

"The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14

Wow. Last time I wrote was July and it was the last week that we were in Daytona. A good amount has happened since then! After a battle of deciding whether or not to MOVE to Daytona, I decided to just see where else the Lord would lead me, and if he lead me back to Daytona, I would be there in a heartbeat. I got back from my adventurous YouthWorks! summer on August 2nd with so much fear of the future in my heart. All I desired was to serve the Lord like I had been in Daytona by investing in youth and in a community. I had no idea what that was going to look like. I applied for 3 jobs the next day. One was for a day care center in Waukesha, another was for a homeless outreach center in Madison, and the last was for a Big Brothers Big Sisters agency in St. Cloud, MN. A couple days later, I had a phone interview with BBBS in St. Cloud for a School-Based Coordinator position. A week later I had an in-person interview in St. Cloud and a day later, I was offered the position. All the while, the prayer of my heart was to allow myself to not fear God's will for my life, whatever that was. I accepted the position with excitement! My first full time job, a job that I wanted and was very passionate about!!! Praise Jesus! Two weeks later, I was moved into my new one bedroom apartment, and beginning the next chapter in my life. It still blows me away when I think about it. Crazy!

It's been over 6 months since I moved to St. Cloud, MN and started working for BBBS. (I even have Minnesota plates and license...) I can't even express to you what I've learned. Not only from starting my first full time job, but from living by myself, and not knowing anyone in the community. It was a tough road, a lot harder than I ever thought. The crazy thing is, it was a wonderful place to be. I wouldn't have told you that in my first couple months here. I was quite bitter about not having a significant other/fiancee/husband, not having friends/my friends being so far away/friendships changing, and just not really knowing if this was where I was supposed to be. I was alone a lot. If you know me at all, you would know that's not how I roll. I like a little time alone, not a lot. I spent a lot of time at Barnes and Noble reading a book called Lady in Waiting (ladies, read it!). Seriously, I would go there after work and take the book off the shelf and read a chapter, then put it back. Hour by hour, and lonely weekend after lonely weekend, God stripped away so many insecurities, bitterness, fears, doubts, and anxieties as he brought me closer to Him in the quiet of my one bed room apartment, and at a corner table at Barnes and Noble. He taught me lessons (and continues to teach me) in my brokenness and surrender. I began to see things differently. I saw my life differently.

As I learned about reckless abandonment to Jesus and the power of the Word of the Lord, my view shifted and I enjoyed my time alone. The Lord slowly began bringing friends into my life and enhancing my friendships with my co-workers. Speaking of co-workers, I love them. They are all simply wonderful, and I am so blessed to have ended up in an office filled with such wonderful people. Grace. That is something working with them and in this field has opened my eyes to. The abundance of grace. It truly is a wonderful thing. Anyway, I started volunteering at a homeless shelter and looking for other ways that I could serve the community I was in. I went to a couple different churches (church shopping is cool, but not something I want to do again) and finally found one that is solid, challenging, and encouraging. I started volunteering with Youth For Christ with the young girls ministry there. Looking outside myself and being about other people, being about Christ. It was so easy for me to think about myself and pity my place in life when I first moved here. My eyes have been opened even more since Daytona. In fact, I realize now that Daytona was only the beginning of my vision being enhanced and changed. I have a purpose. Serve. That is my purpose. That's your purpose. Serve. No matter where you are at. No matter if it's your mom or a man standing on the corner with a sign that says "Will work for food" or a young child who's parent is incarcerated or a high school girl who is just looking for some guidance. Serve by loving. Serve by giving. Serve by sharing. Serve by listening. That is what I'm supposed to do here in St. Cloud. It only took me moving some where new, not knowing anybody,and being broken at Jesus' feet for the millionth time to figure this out. God used Daytona to teach me a lot and give me a lot of fuel for the fire inside me. It continues here in St. Cloud, MN. I'm ablaze with the love, joy, and peace that comes with knowing Jesus Christ as my Savior and I want to share it with everyone I meet.

With that, I have decided to continue my blog. My hope is to write about ministry here in St. Cloud. There's so much need here, just as there is in any community. We just have to choose to look outside of ourselves before we can see it. I will be 23 soon, so this blog might also contain some life lessons of a twenty-something. There's so many already, it's ridiculous. I have no idea how many people will actually read this, but that's okay. I will write anyway. I still can't believe I'm here. Working a job that I truly enjoy, living on my own, and content. I love saying that word, content. It's truly wonderful. God is good.

Thank you to all of the wonderful people that have been praying for me and who listened to me cry numerous times over the phone (especially my mom).

I hope this blog can be an encouragement to everyone and maybe help you to see things around you differently, through God's eyes instead of your own.

In Christ,

Jessica